hi , itsa nicola. i talk in slack but my friends really like it. they think it.s funny.

ok, well it.s me again and, well i have nothing else to do but type. actually maya is typing it for me because i.m too lazy. well, on wednesday at school, in mrs. y.s class, this boy named kevin, or pf chang, as maya melissa and i call him, as you didn.t know melissa is my best friend. so. i.ll continue the story.

maya took kevin.s 3D pumpkins. why you ask? well because. we have something called “little buddies.” which are little kids in kindergarten and we do all these fun activities with them. LIKE SPEND OUR MONEY ON BOOKS. 

and, um, i can.t really buy the books .cuz right now i only have 1 dollar in my wallet. why? BECAUSE I.M A POOR CHILD.

(just kidding.)

i was being sarcastic. ok. so what happened was that maya hid kevin.s 3D pumpkins on this kid.s desk and under camilia.s desk. so then, kevin, with his chinese accent, said to maya “where did you put my pumpkinsa?”

and then maya said “i.m too lazy to find them!”

and so kevin.s all like “you.re a weird child.” just kiddinga, he didn.t really say that. i.m being sarcastic, yet again. and YES! people CAN be sarcastic in this world, well, i.m gonna continue my story. so kevin, with his weird accent, asked maya, “AAH MAYA GIVE ME MY DUMB PUMPKINSA!! DO I HAVE TO BEAT UP RAY FOR YOU TO GIVE THEM TO ME?!” and if you didn.t know who raymone is, or ray, well, he.s this very obnoxious kid who i have to sit next to. SO AGAIN, to the story. kevin, went up to ray, and pretended to slap him. then ray got really mad and slapped him SO HARD that you could probably hear it a mile away. again, i.m being sarcastic because at that time everyone was laughing and shouting and talking. and no there was no teacher in the classroom. how lucky are we, huh? so then a minute later, maya came up to me and said “hey look at kevin.s face” and i.m like “what happened?” and she.s like “well you know when ray slapped kevin? there.s a mark of ray’s hand on his cheek.” and she got kevin.s face and she forced his face toward me and showed me the slap mark. so we were all cracking up. and kevin tried to diss me. with his weird accent. and then maya went to defend me and said WHAT U SAYING TO HER FOO?! so that is the end of the (first) story. and yes, i do not have a blog, if you are wondering, like maya.s mom was wondering just right now, and if you.re reading this on friday, well, right now it.s 5:26 pm.

ps. i do talk in slack version and i interrupt my stories a lot.

today i was at maya.s house and we were looking out her bedroom window and we saw this dude sitting shirtless on his windowsill. so i was yelling through the window at him…and have you heard of this commercial by fischer price that goes “play, laugh, grow!” well, i sang my own version to him through our window, and it goes

“play, laugh, put your shirt on”

if you think it.s funny, you are a good friend. and if you don.t, i.m gonna slap you on the head. and no, i am not violent. but when you don.t laugh at my jokes, i will turn into a devil. ps. i was being sarcastic, for the fifth time. alright, on with the story. so then i sang it again, and i hid while maya was trying to hide but she was too late and the dude turned around and saw maya, and gave us the middle finger, or as maya.s mom calls it “flipped the bird.”

GASP!

i am very sarcastic, but don.t blame me, blame maya, cuz she taught me it. so many things happen in life, and yes, i am talking like an innocent girl that knows what.s going to happen in the future, and what happened in the past. and if you are laughing right now, like maya is as she typing this, at 5:31 pm, you are a nice person. and you want to be my friend. and if you are laughing, but don.t want to be my friend, WELL THAT.S TOO BAD BECAUSE YOU CAN.T GO TO MY POOL. and if you.re not laughing at all, and want to be my friend, then you are allowed to go to my pool. and no, you don.t know where i live, and i will not tell you. SO TOO BAD. again i am being sarcastic. for the, what, 900th time today.

the day at the mall.

well maya doesn.t really like abercrombie, because she thinks that the clothing is a “walking advertisement.” in quotes. so i convinced her to come into the store with me. at that time i was a child, with only $13. and as you know, that is a lot of money for a poor child. yes i am being sarcastic again! so we went in and maya.s mom noted it smelled “abercrombie-ish.” and in my head i.m like “YEAH DUHHH, we’re in abercrombie, it SHOULD smell abercrombie-ish.” and if orly, you are reading this right now, i was being sarcastic. and maya, is cracking up while typing this. ANYWAYS back to the story.

so we went in the store and we were looking at this expensive clothing that i could not afford, but little miss maya could. why, you ask? well because, she had 

$23 DOLLARS

in her pocket. that is a lot for another poor child. and please, i.m sorry that i keep on interrupting my story, but it.s so, for you to understand, the painfulness of being poor. OK ON WITH THE STORY NOW : D

so we went in the store again and maya saw this really nice shirt and you want to guess how much it cost?

no, not five thousand dollars. that is WAY over her budget. that is probably how much money she spends in clothing. in 2 years. alright now. the shirt cost $10. i was amazed. because, i was like to maya “that shirt is probably $100!”

wait right now i have to go to the bathroom so just wait here. and yes i did just tell maya to type this.

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*maya taps on keys while waiting for nicole*

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ok i.m back! it feels so good to go to the bathroom. ok so, she saw this shirt and she.s like “awww ten dollars!!” acting like it was all the money she had in her pocket. so i.m like “wowwwwww” and i kept saying wowww until i stopped saying wowwww. then we went to pacsun and i saw that there was a sign that said “all t-shirts $6.99″ so then i got there and i went inside and i RAN! as fast as i could to wear it said “clearance, $6.99.” i saw this really nice shirt and i.m like MAYA LOOK AT THIS and maya.s like “oh my gosh oh my gosh” and she.s like “how much is it nicole?!” and i.m like “WAIT GURLFRIEND LET ME FIRST LOOK AT THE SHIRT. and then we.ll see how much it costs.” so then i looked at the shirt and i kept looking at it

and looking at it

until i was too tired to look at it anymore. then i saw the pricetag and do you want to know how much it cost?

no, not $90. no, not $50. BUT, TWENTY FOUR NINETY NINE. here in california, we have to pay TAXES for our clothing. so the actual price was $25 dollars. that is a lot for a poor child.

 ESPECIALLY ONE WHO ONLY HAS THIRTEEN DOLLARS IN HER POCKET. (and if you are asking yourself “why couldn.t you borrow maya.s money?” WELL THAT.S BECAUSE I DON.T LIKE BORROWING PEOPLES MONEY CUZ THEN I FORGET AND THEN THEY DONT WANT TO BE MY FRIEND ANYMORE AND THEY KEEP TELLING ME THAT YOU OWE ME THIRTEEN BUCKS.)

so, as a poor little girl, i looked at the shirt, and put it back. 

tear.

so maya wanted to go back to abercrombie because little maya here, she.s actually four foot nine, and i.m four foot eight, so she.s really not that little compared to me, 

by an inch,

that is very tall in my book, wanted to buy this other shirt she saw in abercrombie so she tried on the shirt and did all that girly stuff and while she was doing that, i saw this shirt for $13 and fourty cents. i thought i had the forty cents but remember we have to pay TAXES. so it would.ve cost $14. and no, i.m not a math geek, so i don.t know how much cents it would.ve been. and then i.d say “no offense to the math geeks” so then i tried on the shirt and, um, i really didn.t like it cuz you could see my bellybutton. so i put it back, and while i was doing that, um, oh my god. MAYA, or little miss MAYA, was buying her $20 shirt. then i saw this light pink shirt for $13.40 but it was too high for me to get it.

i need to go to a soccer game right now 

please vote if you want me to have a blog or not, about my sarcasm and about this singer called lady gaga. i really like her. PLEASE GO TO YOUTUBE TO HEAR HER SONG CALLED PAPARAZZI. “well, goodbyee!” in a very sweet voice.

ps. i.m a sweetie on the outside but a devil on the inside.

bye.

~NICOLE!